A year after the accident

Today is the anniversary of my ski accident. It has been an incredible adventure, but I am so glad it is over! Few days ago I had a flash back of the whole year fighting with my injury at physio and hospitals when I met a woman who just had a similar leg injury in similar circumstances skiing. I felt for her because I knew what she felt and what she has ahead of her. At the same time I felt like I am finally at the finishing line of the marathon and very soon my physiotherapy will be over and I will be considered healed.
The only thing left after all this is a thought if I really want to go back to ski or not. All my orthopedic surgeons and physiotherapists are telling me that I can and I am strong enough, but  the thought of falling and injuring myself is too overwhelming for me is still bigger than the pleasure that I am getting when skiing...

In anticipation to get back to skiing

Here I am at Physiotherapy. I am happy now that I am getting trained to go back to skiing. Who would believe that 7 months later after sitting on my couch with a bloodclot, two torn ligaments, damaged femur, sprained shoulder and not even being able to walk I would be training to go back to skiing!?

I am so thankful for the people who created this skiing device!

After all the exercising physiotherapists tight me down to the bed post to keep my leg bend to the max to stretch my scaring tissue. This is where my problem is right now - my ACL ligament has healed by itself and scaring tissue is really tight, so I need to stretch it to fix it.

Mount St-Anne ski hill

May be in another 3 months I will be skiing that mountain with my brace! This will be my next challenge now. Looking forward to going down these hills!

126-step challenge after my ski accident

This is one of the parks in Ile D`Orléans and because of my ski accident I really wanted to give myself a challenge of going up that observatory, which was 126 steps to go up. But in my excitement I didn't think that I had to go back down those steps. Also, that day my leg felt very stiff so I wanted to push myself and go up there. Going up was a breeze and the view was fantastic, but when I realized I had to come down it was another story. My knee felt stiff and at one point hurting so I had to hold on to both railings to keep me stable.  And as you can see in the third picture people are waiting for me to come down. Previously I would explain others my situation, but this time I felt proud and healthy and I didn't want to admit that anything is wrong with me.

How to deal with drastic changes?

January this year I had a ski accident and it completely changed my life. Now, that all those months I had time to reflect on myself and my life, I learnt that the biggest thing to deal with in life is a drastic change – when life puts you in a situation that screws all your plans and all your so-called routine and you have to start from scratch.
It is so difficult mentally and physically. It’s almost like learning to walk all again – you have to find a way to reinvent your life and learn everything anew.
For me it was literally learning to walk all again as I had my injury on my leg. So as before I would never think of how I would walk, it would just happen naturally, subconsciously; now I had to really think and figure out which muscle I use for which movement and which one goes first.
For those who experience it now, I would advice to

• Just stay calm and wait for the diagnosis of the problem before jumping to conclusions.
• You really have to go and ask help from all your family members, relatives and friends. Tell everyone what happened and never be afraid of asking for assistance.
• Also, do not expect your close friends and family to be there for you. You will never know who will show up. You think your best friend will do, perhaps he/she won’t. Nevertheless somebody will for sure.

What?!.. Another torn ligament?! Revisited

This morning was my second visit to my shoulder specialist. We finally got the result of an x-ray and shoulder ultra sound. My doctor told me: “The good news is: You do not have any torn ligament or broken bone in your shoulder. Every muscle and ligaments are intact”. I asked her why it hurts so much, so she said: “Most likely you had a muscle strain when you had your ski accident and because of your severe leg injury the doctor and physiotherapist omit your other pains. Also, the crutches you were using to help you walk were injuring your shoulder on a daily basis by putting pressure on it.” She added that I don’t need to see her anymore; I just need a bit more of physiotherapy and I will be just fine. Happy ending for this one!

Evolution of knee braces

I just wanted to show the different knee braces that I had to use for the recovery of my ski accident. So, this is the first brace that I wore right after the accident. And I also was using the crutches.

This is the second brace, which was keeping my knee at a 30° degree angle. I look very unhappy here because it was the longest I had to wear. It was also the heaviest and very cumbersome.

This is my final brace, which is custom-made. At the beginning I was wearing it everywhere and all the time, but I am wearing it only for the cutting sports, which are downhill skiing, tennis, golf, and also hiking, etc. It is not likely that I will ever be skiing without this brace because my ligament is not strong enough... But you never know. Perhaps another miracle will happen!

Reminiscence of cycling training

 I took this picture in a place where I used to go practice racing bicycling technique (this is a part of the Experimental Farm in Ottawa). I did a lot of time trials there because it's just downtown Ottawa, but it looks like you are right int he middle of nature. And you don't have to stress about fast cars there too much because the limit there is 30 km/hour. it was such a great feeling to be physically there again even with my brace on...

Physiotherapy & Sports Injury Centres

Nowadays I go to the Physiotherapy & Sports Injury Centre as they are specialized in sport injuries, and in particular in ligament problems. The moment I started going there I’ve already received 40 sessions of physiotherapy, so I didn’t start from scratch. At that time I could already walk, but my leg muscles were extremely weak and atrophied. So their job was to help me build up my muscles.

I have the physiotherapist and kinesiology specialist who work on me there. They are assisting me in getting back my full range of my leg motions. The exercises are extremely strenuous and painful. But it does a great job as I can feel my improvement day by day. I appreciate the specialists to help me go through that and assist me in getting me back on my feet.

Physiotherapy at the Ottawa Riverside Hospital

I would never know how a typical day goes when you have to go through the physiotherapy for the first time. Well, that’s how it was for me: I ended up at the Physiotherapy Hospital after my ski accident and they started the treatment a week later. At the beginning they could only relieve the pain. That’s all they do at that stage – they put ice on you to remove the inflammation and meantime they try to diagnose you.
After my MRI when they already knew what my problem was, they made an action plan for my recovery. The physiotherapist regularly checked on me to see the progress and reported to my orthopedic surgeon. I have to mention here how supportive and encouraging physiotherapist and his assistant was, as it made a big impact on me and speeded up my healing.
Some days were easy on me, others were like hell...
And while I was going through all this I was observing the other patients around me. I started talking to them and that was part of the healing as well. We shared our experiences, pains, doctors we saw. And this experience was so therapeutic as it removed me from my world of isolation and gave me an encouragement. I saw a lot of people who were in much worse conditions, but they were improving and getting better as the time passed. They would also encourage me to write these posts so that other people can relate as well.
Looking back at few previous months of my life and the pain I was going through, I realize how all the people I met at the Department of the Ottawa Riverside Hospital were helpful, caring and supportive to me. I greatly appreciate each and everyone you!

Challenges of being injured in winter

The stress of having an injured leg during the winter time is very high. One of the challenges is to keep your driveway free of snow and ice. Every time there is a one or two inches of snow, you have to worry about who is going to remove it. Because I like to shovel snow and I find it more efficient to remove the snow myself, I did not renew my snow removal contract for the winter season of 2010-2012. I must say, It was a big mistake.
I had my ski accident on January 28, 2011. The following week it did not snow but a week a later we had a huge storm. The next morning after the storm I called few snow removal companies including the one that I usually hired. I requested them to give me an estimate for the end of the season and they told me that they cannot take my contract because they only do the full season. To make the story short, I ended up having to beg my neighbors and friends to shovel my driveway. It may seem like it is no big deal for a mobile person, but for someone who cannot walk it means that you cannot go out at all. You become completely isolated. Also, another problem was the ice building up on my house walk way. It was out of the question to walk on ice and risk falling. Therefore it was necessary to use ice salt. Once again, I had to rely on my generous neighbors and friends. Finally at the end of April it was over and I could journey anywhere without worrying of snow or ice.

What?!.. Another torn ligament?!

It seems like the aftermath of my ski accident never stopped. I knew the problem was there, but I kept postponing it as I had to take care of my leg. So, today I finally went to see a shoulder specialist. To my surprise the doctor told me that I might have torn ligament in my right shoulder. Though, I still need to go through an ultra sound test and X-ray to know for sure. The good news is now my left leg is getting much better so I can proceed with the testing and rehabilitation of my shoulder. To be continued…

Healing

One of the most difficult things is that there is no collaboration between doctor and technician, in my case physiotherapist and orthopedics surgeon. They tend to disagree on diagnosis and treatment and it confuses patients as they don’t understand what problem they have and who to believe.

Another thing that I found difficult to deal with is when people hear your case, they start telling you stories they heard of that are similar to yours. And how people in those stories were really bad and needed years to recover. With each story it felt like the drama was increasing.
You have to remember always to listen to the doctor first. He is a specialist and he knows what he is doing. I had to go through a struggle as I didn’t believe them. And it was my mistake.
And the most important thing of all is that every patient is completely different from the other. Even when they tell you that someone got better in two months, it’s not going to be same for you as there are many factors involved, i.e. your age, your health condition, your motivation to get better, etc. So do not ever compare yourself to others. Your case is unique. And if you understand this you will avoid yourself a lot of anxiety and stress.

My blood clot diagnosis (5th part)

Last Friday (8th of July) I went to the Ottawa Civic Hospital for my final ultra sound. The technician took forever to do the test. She took good 10 minutes, and previously it wouldn’t even take 5 minutes to perform. This time it was painful as well. I asked her if there was still a blood clot there, in her opinion. I told her that I understood she wasn’t a doctor, but I just wanted to know what she thought. She said that it was probably almost gone.
Few minutes after, I went to the thrombosis department, where I had an appointment with my doctor. As soon as I arrived there, there was an intern who made me fill out the research questionnaire. After, the doctor’s assistant came in and he told me that I have done a really good job in taking medication and doing my exercises, so they will allow me now to stop the medication as the blood clot is at its minimum and it’s not life-threatening any more.
For the next month I have to be vigilant though, as there is a possibility of it coming back. The doctor explained that once I was diagnosed with the blood clot, it’s more likely to reoccur, specifically in case I am operated. So if I will need a surgery, I would need to get in touch with them.
At the end my specialist came in. He was very happy to see that I’ve done everything they advised me and that now I am on my way to full recovery. He said that it’s wonderful to see that they managed to help me and to see me healthy and doing well. He said it was one of his biggest rewards to witness people recovering and getting back to their normal lives.
I came out of there and as I was walking down those hospital halls, I felt such a huge relieve and a feeling of victory and exhilaration. It was like a survivor’s pride!

My blood clot diagnosis (4th part)

After 3 weeks of tests and my third ultra sound they found out that my blood clot was going up the leg, therefore there was absolutely no other option for me rather than take Coumadin. And if I didn’t I could have had a heart attack. It was now a life-threatening situation, so I gave in. They showed me how to inject myself with it… for me that was an equivalent to becoming a junky. I was resisting all the way. Another challenge was to find the right dosage for me. That was a reason why I needed to keep taking the INR test.
But I was happy because my curfew of staying within 25 kilometers radius of the Ottawa Civic Hospital was over. They finally found the Anticoagulation Therapy for me that would prevent the blood clot. I had to follow the curfew before because they couldn’t figure out the right dosage and the danger of it was too thin blood that would cause excessive bleeding even from a small cut.
And now I am just taking my medication and waiting for the final result that would tell me I have no more blood clot!

My blood clot diagnosis (3rd part)

The next day when I got to thrombosis unit, they told me that I had to go and get another ultra sound test. It was too far away from the thrombosis department to the ultras sound unit, so they put me in a wheel chair. This experience of being on a wheel chair made me feel so old and helpless and handicap. It was such a down feeling of despair…
When I got to the ultra sound department, it was full of motionless people. They looked like they were half dead taking their last breaths. It was very dramatic, especially that I didn’t even look sick and I found myself around people who were literally dying. So at that moment I really got to understand the severity of my situation…
After they made an ultra sound test, I went back to see my doctor at the thrombosis unit. His assistant tried to convince me to enroll in the research department, but I refused because I am an anti-drug person and I consider taking drugs only if it’s absolutely necessary. Needless to say, they were not happy about it, so as a consequence they told me that I had to take 4 blood tests and an ultra sound every week. And that’s outside of the hospital clinic, which was a problem because of the transportation. Imagine Monday morning you have to get to the clinic at 7am, wearing the leg brace and barely moving. It’s minus 25 Celsius outside and you are waiting outside among other 20 people for the door to open. By 8:00 – 8:30 am they take your blood, and right after you have to rush to the physiotherapy for the treatment. That went on for 3 weeks.

My blood clot diagnosis (2nd part)

When I arrived to the emergency room I did not go to the registration. All my paperwork was already done for me and that made me very suspicious that something was majorly wrong here. Fifteen minutes later a technician was performing an ultra sound on my leg. Being a curious person I started asking her all kinds of questions, but she would not answer me and she kept telling me that the doctor will talk to me afterwards.
For five hours there I did not know what was happening. I was laying down there trying to figure out how come that nobody wanted to give me any help right after the accident, but now 6 weeks later I feel little bit of pain and all the doors are open and everybody is so eager to give me attention and care.

Finally five hours later I saw two doctors and they gave me a compassionate look and told me: “You have a blood clot in your left leg and fortunately for you it is not above the knee. Therefore the treatment can wait until the next day”. If it was above the knee they would hospitalize me right away, but it was not the case, so they sent me home with the appointment for the next day with the Thrombosis department. I was clueless of what was happening to me, so when I arrived home I searched the internet and I got what the fuss was all about. Basically if I had the blood clot above the knee and didn’t get to the emergency room, I would have had a heart attack within 24 hours or so. Now I got the message!

My blood clot diagnosis (1st part)

Monday, March-14-11, was like any other day of physical recovery. First thing in the morning I went to physiotherapy at the Riverside hospital. Shortly after my arrival, I got ready on the bed to start stretching my injured leg and after only two movements I felt this excruciating pain in my calf. In sports we tend to think that pain is a good sign for building muscles and we push through it, but in physiotherapy it’s the opposite. And as I did my first movements, I felt the resistance, but when I went to the third movement I had the feeling that a knife stabbed me and without realizing I started to cry. My physiotherapist saw me tearing and asked what was going on, and I told her about the pain. In a matter of minutes, they dressed me up and sent me to the Ottawa Civic Emergency room...

Figuring out the damage

Why MRI was so important for me? I had to do it to get the image of everything inside my leg, including muscles, ligaments, tissue, etc, and not just the bone, which you normally get form the X-ray. I must say here that it was already a frustration to get the appointment to do MRI as I had to do a lot of calling and begging, and going to hospital to get to this doctor and that specialist, and an incredible amount of waiting time. In addition, it was very painful to get it done as they had to squeeze my swollen leg. And being a claustrophobic person didn’t help at all.

The challenge here was that my bone wasn’t broken and because of that people thought that my problem wasn’t that serious. They thought I was just faking it and being a wimpy whiner. So it was tough to get through all the obstacles to get an appointment for the MRI, but I did it. And to everybody’s surprise, it was an extremely severe case of two lacerated ligaments and a damaged femur.

I must admit I enjoyed seeing the faces of my orthopedic surgeon and my physiotherapist as they saw the MRI result. Literally their jaws dropped in disbelief! It was hard to believe even for myself that I got this injury just because my ski binder didn’t release my boots during the fall, which caused all my injuries.

1st week after accident – getting to MD

The most difficult thing during that week was to get my appointment with my orthopedic surgeon. It was also shockingly tough to deal with my day-to-day life. We take for granted so many things… Thinking of that time… I was facing the problem of getting the food, and not in terms of earning it, but bringing it to my house. Basically, you feel paralyzed and isolated from the rest of the world.  It’s almost as the world that you knew didn’t exist anymore. Every single activity was a struggle… and these are the basic activities that we do on a daily basis. Even brushing my teeth was a challenge as my shoulder was hurt from the accident! I was deprived from my essential chores, i.e. I couldn’t pick up or drop my daughter to school. Besides that I was looking for the employment at that period of time and it was my second interview that was scheduled the following Monday. Obviously I couldn’t attend it and the company didn’t want to hire me as I was a handicap. I was truly physically unable to work.

On top of that I had to go to the hospital (I am not even mentioning here how long waiting time is there) and the doctor I saw didn’t even help me. He refused to send me for MRI and told me to come back in two weeks. The next day after that I had to go to collect the results of my blood test (from the annual check-up) at my family doctor, and when he saw me barely moving he got totally outraged. He took upon himself responsibly to send me for the MRI and that’s how I got it the following week. He saved me 6 month as when I called myself for the MRI they wanted to put me on a half-year waiting list. And that’s when I cannot even move an inch of my leg!
I don’t want to point fingers at the health system here, but I think the conclusion is asking for itself…